Category: 見證分享 | Witness Sharing

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信主後，自己有很大的轉變。

學會謙卑和感恩，以前只知道只要努力就會爭取好成績。

其實萬事都掌握於主手裏。

靠主得力，才是唯一出路。

萬事皆神所創造包括自己，要事事感恩和讚美神。

所以我們要做神所喜悅的事 身心全意為主作工。

神愛世人，我們亦要效法他愛人如己。

我叫張濤，來自中國河南省鄭州市， 出生于1967年。2004年移民來到加拿大，現在多倫多生活。

我從小所受的教育就是無神論，在學校學習的是唯物主義，物質決定意識。而在我的生活經歷中，思考人生意義，思索自然奧秘，有許多迷惑不解; 有時生活茫然和焦慮，不知道未來的方向。

2017年前的一段時間，我的生活和工作處于相對低谷的時期。我們在朋友王遠的引導下，來到萬民福音堂，參加教會的活動。逐漸的我更多了解了基督教，接近了神。找到到了自己以前許多不解的答案。

“是神創造了萬物，神愛我們，派遣他的愛子耶穌，降臨人間，以他的寶血來洗刷我們的罪”

我們初次來到教會，受到Connie 以及大家熱情的接待，使我感受到教會兄弟姊妹的關心和熱誠。在教會聽牧師傳道，幫助我更多的認識神, 越來越多領會圣經里的內容。通過我們恩典小組的學習，認識了更多教會新朋友，大家互相交流，成長；感受到教會的弟兄姊妹那樣的友善、和睦、有愛心。當我決志信主，祝飆為我禱告的時候，我突然萌發內心的感動。我愿意接受主耶穌作為我的救主和生命的主。

傳道書12：13-14節講：只有“敬畏神和謹守他的誡命”，人生才有真正的滿足。

現在每當我參加教會的禮拜和主日學，聆聽贊美詩歌，領悟圣經的教誨；體會到接近主，和神同在，內心會感到那種平安和喜樂。在華語堂禮拜活動中，我也幫助設置音響設備，盡自己微薄的力量，幫助教會發展，弘揚基督精神。

雖然我對上帝和圣經的領悟還很有限。但我愿意成為基督徒，接受洗禮。我今后要遵循主的教誨，塑造主生命，以自己的行為影響家人和周圍的人。

感謝主贈與的一切！感謝主給我幸福的家庭！感謝主帶給的平安！一切榮耀歸于萬能的主！

我在十二年前獨自從廣州來到加拿大讀書，來加前，沒有真正的聽過福音，只是透過電視知道有基督教這個信仰。在我很小的時候，我心裡已經對生命產生一些疑問，例如對人死了會怎樣，會去哪裡等等， 但這些疑問也只是存放在心裡，隨著人慢慢長大，也沒有很多時間去思想這些事情，生活也是這樣平平淡淡的過。

來到加拿大后，因為表哥一家是基督徒的緣故，有時週末從學校小鎮出來，會跟他們參加禮拜日崇拜，剛開始也聽不懂牧師所說的，有時更覺得有點無聊。

我這個人本來說話不多，特別在陌生人面前，我是一個不想吸引別人注意的人，因為父母在我小時候就離婚，十二年的獨立的生活，讓我很多事情都收起來，不願意跟別人分享，後來我發現自己的性格從小到大都是要強，很不願意讓別人看到我的不好，很在意別人的眼光， 生活各方面都是這樣，包括讀書，工作。例如每逢學校考試，我都是那種拼盡全力去準備。面對很多事情都太過執著，很多時候按照自己的想法去做，其實這樣的我生活的很累。

2011年我被一位透過工作認識的姊妹帶我去教會，很快在同一年我決志，但之後沒有固定地去教會聚會，即使是去聚會，也只是去崇拜，基本沒有團契生活。雖然心裡知道和相信有這位上帝，但一直都沒有積極的去尋求祂，認識祂，我知道那段時間即使有上教會，但跟神的關係很疏遠。

前十年在加拿大，我都是一直都在忙，讀書，工作，移民，考牌，生活各樣的瑣碎事，其實都是自己一直在掌控，謀劃自己的未來，真的沒有把神放在重要的位置。當我在兩年前好不容易把兩個會及時牌照拿到手的時候，以為自己的事業可以發展得更好的時候，神就在這個時候告訴我，一切都是祂掌管的，不是我能夠控制和計劃的。那年我眼睛視網膜脫落，身體出現警號，就像神在告訴我，“”你要停下來”。但神真的很愛我，雖然祂在這事上要彰顯祂的能力，給我個警號，但祂又在這事情上讓我感受到“我雖然行過死蔭幽谷，也不怕遭害，因為你與我同在”。這事發生前幾天，媽媽剛來到加拿大探望我，計劃逗留幾個月，神的愛真的很奇妙，在我身體最軟弱，手術后需要臥床的時候，神祂就把我一個最親的家人安排在我身邊照顧我，更奇妙的是，在那時我正在申請一份工作，工作內容是要每天去客戶那裡工作，客戶遍佈整個GTA, 事情發生前一個禮拜，我進行了第一次面試，正當我在擔心我沒辦法這樣到處去工作的時候，在我手術后的一個月，我進行了第二次面試，在我眼睛還不能看清，狀態最差的時候，公司不知道我身體狀況的情況下，竟然通過我的面試，後來還說現有一個新的職位是in-house的，不需要到客戶那裡，公司跟家的距離也不是太遠，問我是否想做。那時候我深知道，這是神為我安排的，祂知道我的需要，而且他的供應是超過我所求所想，他為我安排的是剛剛好的，最後在我手術后的兩個月就上班了。我心中真的充滿 感恩和感謝，因為這一切都是神的作為。

當然，神的恩典在我身上又何止這些呢，在這裡也不能一一細數。後來因為這份工作沒有那麼繁忙，又在表哥介紹下，來到離家比較近的萬民福音堂聚會，這一年我參加崇拜，主日學和小組，還有其他教會的bible study group和一些學習禱告的課程， 讓我與神的關係拉近。現在我學習著放下自己的執著，打開自己的心讓神來掌管，我知道主權不在我的手中，我願意像泥土 一樣，讓主來陶造我。我知道做了基督徒以後，人生不會天色常藍，但我知道I do my best, God will do the rest。

感恩一路有主一起同行，將榮饒頌贊歸給我們天上的父，阿門。

All my life, I only counted on myself. No matter how big the problem, I would try to face it head on and come up with my own solutions. However, this all begin to change four years ago, when I made a life changing decision. It was a decision that changed a lot for my family, myself, and my financial situation. I decided to purchase and run a franchise business. It was an extremely difficult path in the beginning, and as a family, we faced a lot of stress. From the lack of experience I had in the field, a break-in at our store, and staff that weren’t the most cooperative, I was discouraged and unhappy with myself. I would have trouble falling asleep and always wake up in the middle of the night. I was losing my appetite and had thoughts about whether or not this was the right path I had chosen.

In the midst of all this, I was extremely fortunate to have my family behind me and more importantly, brothers and sisters in our church that would support me. I slowly learned to turn to God whenever I had problems, and I learned how to pray and be grateful for all I had. With God’s help, every problem I had didn’t seem so large anymore, and sometimes they just became valuable learning experiences.

In the past, I would question God’s presence in my life and often look to science and logic to reason with his ways. However, as I began to pray and strengthen my relationship with Him, I felt his presence more and more in my life. Through this gut feeling, I knew that God was working in my life, and from then on, I understood that I could never question His presence through logic or science. Now that God is in my life, I find that I am more peaceful and happy. I fear less about the problems ahead of me and know I do not have to lose hope. God will always be there as his love is true and everlasting, and in his hands; I feel that everything will be okay.

在基督教聖公會學校讀了六年的小學，自幼已經認識神， 成長的我從未否定過神存在這回事，只是到了年青的階段， 開始不太清楚自己所信的是什麼，也不確定自己是否真的相信神。 別人問我何時信主我都不知如何回答。隨著多年在社會打滾， 煩惱時刻紛擾，漸漸地與神“隔絕”。從前我是一個對事情很執著， 凡事對自己和對身邊的人都要求很高，做事追求完美。 就是因為這個性格的關係，一但事情不如預期， 我就會不開心或生氣。但很奇妙的是我始終沒有離開這個信仰， 遇到不如意或擔心的事，我會禱告。在該段日子裏， 深深體會神帶給我的平安。

在2014年因為我的兒子入讀了一間基督教幼兒園Grace Christian School。就是這原因我再次接觸到很多基督徒， 每月也有兩次查經班。感受到神為我們準備的，永遠是最好、 最適合我們的。就在三年前，我的朋友邀請我出席一個音樂劇” 未完的故事”。真的很奇妙，當晚我一邊看一邊流淚。就在當晚， 聖靈感動下就決定決志了。之後返教會，參加團契， 認識很多弟兄姊妹。慢慢我的執著，看事情的看法也漸漸地改變了。

如果沒有從小認識主，可能我感受不到身邊滿有愛和祝福。 在主愛的教導下，我懂得用感恩的心面對成功， 也懂得用平靜的心接受失敗。回顧看，原來自己並沒有放棄神， 每當陷入困境時又會重新禱告尋找神。

自己遇到了問題主動求問神。從那時起，我學懂了凡事向神禱告， 慢慢重建與神的關係。我感受到神的帶領使我安然無懼， 執著的個性也就慢慢減緩了。

但今天決定洗禮是因為我知道神必定會繼續堅定我的信心， 不離不棄的引導我前行，祂赦免了我的罪，賜予我新的生命， 祂是信實、公義和慈愛的主。我決定要跟隨神，更要感謝祂， 信主後讓我更認識了解自己，檢視自己的不足。 感謝主時刻與我同在，絕望時保守我，低沉時帶領著我。 往後的日子，求神繼續帶領我，賜我信心，讓我更能認識祂， 走祂的道。感謝主！

For my entire life, my family has been involved in the church and I’ve been going to church for as long as I can remember. Yet, attending church wasn’t something that I had taken with much significance as a child. Sure, I learned about Jesus, but church to me was a place to have fun, like when Auntie Carol banned the word “park”, we would continue to ask to go to the slidey-place instead. And although in Sunday school we were taught morals and how to act, as a kid, I still joined in on creating trouble with the other kids, even though I was selfish and didn’t want to get reprimanded.

My views on church and Christ continued to stay superficial until grade 8 and grade 9, when I first attended TC. I don’t really know what it was, and I can’t say this for everyone, but TC impacted me and my faith; seeing and being surrounded by people fired up for Christ, I guess you could say that my own faith had started to become more tangible and considerable. But that was it; it “started” to become.

You see, I had a tough time writing out my testimony because I didn’t have any point in time where I was miraculously changed, or experienced a specific act of God as one might expect from an inspirational testimony of coming into Christianity. And although I like to specifically use TC as a single point where I experienced great change, even though it has significantly impacted my life.

I still continued to grow after the conference, and am still changing today. For example, my involvement in my high school fellowship, where although I knew it existed since grade 9, I only started to attend in grade 11. Even though I went the fellowship once in grade 10, and knew the time and where it was held; I still didn’t go because I would’ve rather hung out with my friends instead.

And that would happen every week until one day in grade 11, where I suddenly decided to go instead of going out with my friends. It was in that moment where I felt a pull or need to attend the fellowship, and I guess in that moment God pushed me to put the gospel and fellowship first. Instead of a big flash where I was suddenly pushed into faith, I think God has worked in my life slowly and continuously. So, I guess that’s why I’m getting baptised; not because baptism is a finish line, but rather another step into faith.

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In the beginning, I always questioned my faith and I never thought I was ready to be baptized. I would look those around me and see that my faith was lacking or wasn’t strong enough. I didn’t have any bible verses memorized and couldn’t give context to any parable. So I agreed with myself that I would only get baptized when I knew my faith was stronger. But here’s where I went wrong, it’s not up to me but God. Baptism is not something you’ll do when your faith is strong enough, but it’s the next step ito have a stronger relationship with God.

Not only did I question my faith, but I always had questions about baptism too. Like what was the purpose and the meaning of baptism? But it was never really was taught in Sunday school, so all I knew was that we should be baptized as a Christian. This gave me reservations about being baptized.

Another factor that was hindering me was the fact that I grew up in a somewhat dysfunctional family, I didn’t fully understand what it meant this concept of love described in the bible as I couldn’t really see it with my parents. I didn’t know what to expect from a supposed “loving” God. I saw the hard effort and “love” my parents have to me, but I never really understood what it meant or how it works in the context of a relationship with God.

This all changed a couple years ago at Today’s Teens Conference. It was at the last workshop with a speaker Karen Holt, she talked about this concept of “3 taps to the shoulder” where God gives them nudges to do things. It was at this workshop that I witnessed it first hand the love of God. I was having an off day that day, I woke up to my parents fighting and I was feeling especially down. For some reason, all I wanted was for someone to pray for me and I asked God to show me a sign that he was there for me. As I was leaving the workshop, Karen stopped me and she said I was told by God that she should pray for me. It was at that point that I knew God was real and that he indeed loved me and was looking out for me.

There was this short story that my friend shared with me. It actually really helped me understand what the love of God is. It just kept resonating with me. The story starts of with the entire world going through an deadly epidemic and everyone is lined outside of this hospital to see if their blood is suitable to find this cure. As the minutes passes by more and more people are being affected by the disease and dying off. In the line to the hospital there’s this dad and his son, who’s no older than 5 years old. When suddenly a nurse runs out and is frantically calling for the dad’s name. So he identifies himself thinking maybe his is the match for the cure. As the nurse approaches she goes explains that there is good news and bad news. The good news is his son’s blood is a match for the cure and could save the world. But as he is an infant, the blood he would have to give would kill himself. At that moment I understood that God who is the father in this scenario, was willing to sacrifice his only so to save the rest of the world.

These experience reinforced my thoughts that God is real, but I still questioned my own faith. If I was a good enough Christian. Given the opportunity to look into other churches, I met some people that really inspired my faith. Thought I still don’t know all of the bible or context. There’s this feeling that says I’m ready, this is it. I got perspective on my own faith.

I have been going to church ever since I can remember, and even before that too. My mom brought me to church before I was born, and between my parents and closest relatives, I pretty much grew up into a Christian family. My mom and dad both teach in the Cantonese congregation, helping me develop a strong sense of faith ever since I was young. My journey with God has been continuous, but there were certain times that I felt him more prominently, through the acts of my family and friends as well.

I remember always asking myself why God took away people that I loved, or anyone at all. The idea that he was a loving God youth not having many relatives around, besides my mom, dad, and brother. The rest of my family lived in Hong Kong, but even so, I never got to meet three of my grandparents. Although I didn’t think it was life-changing at the time, I always questioned why God took them away from me without letting me meet them first. Was God just looking out for me because they were bad people? Or did he not want me to be happy and see them? Both ideas confused me, especially when I had to live through the death of my aunt, one of my closest relatives.

She was kind and loving, followed God, and served in her church. She didn’t seem like someone that God should take away, specifically through cancer, a long, painful and hopeful road to passing away. I know now that it wasn’t all bad, and that God had reasons to give my family that experience. Seeing my parents live through the grief and suffering after her death gave me a better understanding of God’s plans and what he holds for each of us. My parents didn’t get mad at God for taking my aunt away, or yell or scream in frustration at his choice, but accepted her death and remembered her for her bright character and attitude instead. I saw how even though God took her away, he also gave her to us to begin with, and I learned to be thankful for that in place of anger.

Children’s ministry and worship has been a big part of my involvement at church. I’ve always had a passion for kids growing up, and it led me to see God’s power and grace through the character of younger children. These little kids that have a great sense of purity and innocence wanting to learn about God truly did amaze me, knowing that they had no other reason to want to learn except out of curiosity and intrigue. I wanted to spark that curiosity in myself, and in getting baptized (not that this is the only reason), I hope that my faith will be reignited so that it can burn brighter than before.

This is the summer that I have chosen to be baptized because of both the timing and the attitude I have developed in Christ. Before I step into university, I know that my foundation has to be stronger than ever so that it doesn’t crumble. I want to be baptized because I love God, and the way that he has changed my life. He has taught me that it’s okay to have questions, to wonder, and to love. I want to follow him for the rest of my life, growing to become as deserving as I can of his forgiveness and grace.

我只有一個很單純的想法：馬上我要失去知覺了，當我醒過來的時候，只有兩個可能…­..此岸….彼岸，而兩個可能都是一樣好的。…..這邊有我親愛的家人、朋友­…. 若是醒來在彼岸，也將有千萬天使迎接我到天父懷中，我將見到我救主的榮面。至此我悟到­原來對生命早已有十分的把握，所以對死亡無所懼怕……「與其咒詛黑暗，不如燃­燒自己。」

– 蘇恩佩

最近一，二年我屋企發生了很多不如意的事情，這些事一直困撓我，令我担忧，傷痛，覚得很無助。幸好，感謝神賜給我有萬民堂和恩典堂非常好的教會，有很忠心事奉神的教牧同工和肢體。 Continue reading 2010.4.13 – L.L. 的見證分享